Permission granted*

*to be all you, all the time

My day so far:

{this morning's photo adventure}

7 ish: woke up + the trees are snow covered. {Been waiting for this photo adventure since like August } Cue assorted gymnastic style, fantastical moves accompanied by a lot of excited running around. Then photos. Then singing while I make coffee {Coldplay’s Warning sign: my version of the lyrics} Then dancing. Utopia by Goldfrapp {#1 on my recently played ipod list} opens the floor. Everything: one intuitive flow: I just follow what pulls on me, what inspires next.

Dance: it’s intuitively opening up everything. It’s my #1 meditation play {practice} right now. If you get stuck in your head as I do with my head over heels thing with ideas + words, dance pretty much pulls you into wordless perception, which = priceless. Osho’s dynamic meditation style opened this up for me: a day of dancing at his ashram in the Himalayan foothills in Nepal kind of sealed that deal.

Dancing + writing are becoming a kind of fluid, intuitive interactive play, which has my utter fascination.

Since Xmas eve when I got it, I have been losing {finding} myself in Martha Beck’s latest book, Finding your way in a wild new world: reclaim your true nature to create the life you want. So far everything I am reading is exactly what I have been experiencing + exploring this year, so it’s fascinating to immerse in her experience + in the process, sink even more deeply into my own.

What has my attention right now: permission.

As in: permission to be yourself, to feel confident enough to share all of who you are, and how exactly can you know {discover} this?

How to explore exactly this?

What permission do you crave most? What do you secretly wish someone would assign you {pay you, even} to do so you had every excuse to totally immerse in it? Where do you feel held back? Who is your real audience? Who do you imagine proudly cheers you on?

{saw this yesterday}

< cheerleaders can be anyone >

I am currently creating a guest post for Otiti on this very topic. Permission. freedom.

Then it occurred to me this morning to live it + share it with you, exactly as it is:

For me this year, it’s been about giving myself permission {enough sense of safety} to share my life publicly. Since my traumatic experience at three, shining has been my biggest challenge for all the obvious reasons. Shiny attracts unwanted, even dangerous attention has shifted into: I can be strong enough to shine. I chose this terrifying experience just as much as any other experience to share this with the world, and probably for good reason, one that I may never fully know while I am here: that this alone is reason enough to shine, even if it’s just to see what this reveals. And, even more importantly: to trust that its part of a much larger collective experience that belongs to us all.

It’s been a question of trusting my experience + realizing the power of simply sharing this in the world, that I cannot possibly measure the affect this really has, but that it is here for us all in some way.

And to know: we are always so much more than any single experience. No experience can define or limit you in any way. Experience is our material, our medium, our paint, our sound. Everything can be used. As I discover through dancing, which is fast becoming a way to evaporate into air + push against it in interesting ways, every experience adds a certain something.

It’s been a question of pursuing multiple passions publicly and sharing my insights into this experience. As it so happens, multiple passions, much like multiple orgasms, enhance + elevate any experience. If, like me, you like playing with peak experiences, I highly recommend you investigate all your passions, inclinations + especially spontaneous urges/ pulls along these lines. This is why the Radiohead thing for me. It pulled me into all of this.  I like playing inside polyrhythmic layers: it’s a door to peak experience for me. Add this to dancing, images, writing: you get the idea.

Here’s an experience I have always wanted you to have: Gregory Colbert’s Ashes and Snow with kid A, by Radiohead: discovered while experimenting with some of their music along with images to see what effects could be created via film.

That layering thing – again.

Phew. Okay: this is a lot of me. Much more than I originally intended: totally out of my comfort zone. But this is where it’s all at.

At least, for me.

You have permission to be all you.

Wow yourself; explore everything. Follow fascination. Love more than appears wise: trust your heart; it is far more resilient + powerful than you have ever dared to imagine. Dive deep into your dreams + passions. They are your doors.


Premakarini xo

Have an amazing 2012 celebration wherever you are, whatever you do

{Dance playlist: Phoenix: Love like a sunset. Goldfrapp: Utopia + Deep honey: When I first saw this video I was thrilled because it’s similar to my dance style. Mutemath: No response, Pins + needles, Spotlight.  Massive attack: Mezzanine track#1 + inertia creeps. Radiohead: Lotus, Feral, You, Go slowly. Down is the new up. Slowdive}

Posted in authenticity + awareness, CREATIVITY, creative genius + creative process, emotional awareness + quick emotional fix, INTUITION + intuitive edge, life + love, peak experience + bliss, PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT + permission {freedom}, trust + transparency, WRITING, you
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